You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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