I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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