he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
