So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
