Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
