Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
