You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
