Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
