ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
