I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
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