I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
