Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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