Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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