guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
