so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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