You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
