well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I think i got beer on your cat.
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