Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Randomize
