I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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