Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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