This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
please don't ironically join a cult
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