I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
