cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
