new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
