if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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