I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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