Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
