New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
