I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
