Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
