I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
