I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
