Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
