So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
