I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
