I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Randomize
