i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
