I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
