Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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