i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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