Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
