it was like eating out sand paper
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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