I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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