i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
