Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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