please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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