New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
