It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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