Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
