Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
